From PTSD to Purpose: How Your Wounds Become Your Roadmap to Healing

I spent three months creating scripted YouTube videos that I couldn't even watch back. Every word was planned. Every pause was intentional. Every frame was optimized.

And I hated all of it.

So today, I did something different. I hit record with no script, no plan—just me, processing out loud about the question that's been weighing on my heart: What's the point of healing if it only takes you from pain to "okay"?

My Journey with PTSD and Trauma Recovery

I grew up in an abusive household. When I moved out at 18, I didn't realize I had PTSD until about two years later, but the symptoms started showing up around six months after I left.

Night terrors. Panic attacks. Dissociative episodes. Audio hallucinations in the middle of class.

I thought I was losing my mind. My family worried I'd develop schizophrenia like my mom. I felt hopeless, like I was broken beyond repair.

I went to counselors who told me to color. And while I understand now that some of those tools could have been helpful, it felt like I was dusting off dirt when my entire body was covered in cement.

The Turning Point: Nervous System Regulation

Everything changed when I discovered nervous system science and body-based regulation. Learning how to rewire and remap my brain through experiences (not just talk therapy) gave me the tools I actually needed.

But here's the thing: healing isn't linear.

It wasn't a straight line from broken to healed. It was more like: learn a concept, see growth, plateau, discover the next bottleneck, learn another concept, grow again, flatline. Repeat.

If you've experienced trauma, you know this. Healing is like peeling an onion, there are always more layers. Just when you think you've worked through something, another belief surfaces. Another perspective shifts. Another layer of grief needs to be processed.

And honestly? That used to frustrate me so much. Why am I not over this yet? Why am I not through this piece yet?

Moving Beyond "Just Feeling Okay"

But recently, I've been wrestling with a deeper question: What is the point of this healing work?

Is it just to go from intense pain to less pain? To become functional? To feel... okay?

I've spent years trying to find relief from the pain. Years working to remove negative feelings. Years asking myself, "What does it feel like to just be okay?"

And you know what? I don't want to just feel okay anymore.

I want to feel joy. I want to feel excitement for my day. I want to make an impact in the world.

I don't want my presence on this planet to just mean, "Oh, I was really screwed up and now I'm less screwed up." I want something more meaningful than that.

Training Your Nervous System for Joy

Here's what I'm exploring now: If I could teach my nervous system to go from chaotic to consistent, can I train it to go from a normal baseline to something more positive? More joyful? More purposeful?

I really believe the answer is yes.

The same practices that helped me recover from trauma can be modified to help me uplevel from neutral to thriving. And that's the work I'm doing now, figuring out what that looks like, what tools help, and how to invite more delight into my daily life.

The Foundation: Learning to Listen to Your Body

But here's the thing: You can't fully be yourself if you're not connected to yourself.

And you can't be connected to yourself if you haven't learned to listen to your body.

Your nervous system doesn't just exist in your brain, it's your entire body. It's your hormonal system. It's the exchanges between you and other people (we have mirror neurons that pick up on other people's energetic states).

Your body holds wisdom. Your wounds hold clues. And when you learn to listen, you discover something incredible:

Your wounds give you the roadmap to your purpose.

From Wounds to Purpose

Think about the areas of your life that have caused you pain. The things you've been put down for. The parts of your authentic self that you've had to reject or hide.

Those things, those exact things, are what lead you to freedom.

When I was a kid, I loved talking. I was constantly told to be quiet. To stop. To be smaller. Adults would literally pay me to just stop talking and go do something else.

And now? Here I am, creating content where I just... talk. Where I process out loud. Where I give myself, and hopefully you, permission to be heard without filtering or performing or shrinking.

That's not a coincidence. The places we've been wounded often point us toward our purpose.

By reconciling those rejected parts of yourself, by embracing them and loving them fully, you unravel your purpose. You get a compass. A direction for where to go next.

The roadmap is written in your body. All you need to do is learn how to listen to it.

Authentic Expression as Healing

I realized recently that I can't keep showing up to YouTube, or to life, with neediness. With the need to be liked, approved of, or validated.

So I had to ask myself: What mindset do I need so that I'm creating for expression and fun? What would make this valuable even if no one ever saw it?

And the answer was simple: giving myself space to be heard.

How often do we actually sit down and give ourselves permission to just... exist? To process our thoughts without judgment? To be whoever we want to be and say whatever we want to say?

That's what authentic expression is. And it's incredibly healing.

An Invitation

I don't have all the answers yet. I'm still in process. Still learning and growing and figuring out what my "after picture" looks like.

But I want to invite you into this process with me.

If you're tired of just "feeling okay" and you want more from life, if you want to move from trauma recovery to actually thriving, then this space is for you.

Let me ask you: On a scale of 1 to 10, how connected do you feel to your body and heart right now?

No shame, no judgment. I'm genuinely curious. Because I practice this every day, and on an average day, I'm probably about a 6. A really good day is an 8.

The more connected you become to yourself, the more you realize your spaces of disconnection. It's a paradox, but it's also beautiful.

Want to work together? I help people heal from trauma, regulate their nervous systems, and reconnect with their authentic selves. Learn more about coaching.

https://www.livingonpurposeconsulting.com/90-day-transformation