How to Release Resistance and Find Your Peace (5 Easy Steps)

Do you ever feel like you're fighting against what's happening? Maybe you're stuck in traffic, running late, and every minute feels like torture. Or maybe plans fell through, and you can't stop thinking about how things should have gone differently. That internal battle against what's happening...is called resistance.

Today, I want to share something that's been transformative for me and the clients I work with: how to release resistance and step into acceptance. Because when you stop fighting what IS and start working with it, everything shifts. You'll feel lighter, clearer, and more available for the good things life has to offer.

What Is Resistance (And Why Does It Matter)?

Resistance happens when we're in an experience and we think it shouldn't be happening. Instead of accepting that something IS occurring and asking "What do I do about it?", we get stuck dwelling on the fact that it's happening at all.

Here's a simple example: You're driving to work and running late. You're tense, gripping the steering wheel, angry at other drivers, sitting on the edge of your seat. By the time you arrive, you're exhausted, disoriented, and depleted.

But what if you could have a moment of awareness in that car? "I'm going to be here for 30 minutes either way. How can I make this the best time possible?"

Can you feel the difference? One version creates suffering. The other creates space for possibility, even delight.

The Problem: How Stress Hijacks Your Brain

Let's talk about what stress actually does to us. When your body is under stress (whether from circumstances, relationships, injury, or anything else) it creates static in your decision-making. This isn't just a feeling; it's actual brain science.

Stress releases cortisol, a chemical that interferes with clear thinking. It makes us feel confused and skews our perception. Here's the really important part: stress causes us to anticipate the worst possible outcomes instead of seeing possibilities that could work in our favor.

When you're stressed, your brain literally cannot access all of your options. You're not being pessimistic, your nervous system is just trying to protect you by scanning for threats.

One of the most powerful ways to clear that mental static is by releasing resistance.

The Solution: 5 Steps to Release Resistance

Whatever you're facing right now, these concrete nervous system tools will help you accept what IS happening and make yourself available to pivot into a different kind of day.

Step 1: Recognize the Resistance

Just notice it. "I'm driving to work and I'm tense and upset about being late." Name it without judgment. This simple act of recognition is the first step toward releasing it.

Step 2: Describe What It Feels Like in Your Body

Get specific about the physical sensations. "I feel my jaw clenched. I'm gripping the steering wheel tightly. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat."

When you name these sensations, you're already starting to create separation from them. This creates what's called mindful awareness: the ability to observe your experience rather than being completely consumed by it.

Step 3: Give Yourself Permission to Relax

Talk to those sensations one by one. "Jaw, you can unclench. Hands, you can ungrip."

This isn't about forcing anything, it's about gentle permission. You're inviting your body to release tension.

Step 4: Find Three Things That Feel Comforting, Safe, or Neutral

This brings you into the present moment and starts to shift your nervous system from threat detection to safety. Look around and notice:

• The heat from the car heater feels nice on my skin

• The car seat is firm and holding me, it feels safe

• The colors in the sunrise are beautiful, what a gift

These small observations might seem insignificant, but they're powerful nervous system regulators.

Step 5: Choose One Action That Will Help You Relax

Pick something small and doable that moves you toward regulation rather than more stress:

• Call someone supportive

• Open a window for fresh air

• Ask for help

• Listen to a calming podcast or music

The key is that it's actionable and accessible right now.

This Isn't Toxic Positivity: It's Self-Compassion

I want to be clear: This practice isn't about pretending everything is fine when it's not. It's not about spiritual bypassing or toxic positivity.

This is about releasing yourself from unnecessary suffering. When you fight against what IS, you're adding a layer of suffering on top of whatever challenge you're already facing. It's like punishing yourself twice.

Going back to the traffic example: you can't control that there's an accident making you late. But the quality of your time while you wait? That's the part you DO have control over.

You can choose whether you spend that 30-minute drive depleting yourself or whether you use these steps to come back to your body, come back to safety, and show up in a completely different state.

What Changes When You Release Resistance

When you show up from a regulated place, from a place of acceptance rather than resistance, everything changes:

Your clarity returns. Without cortisol flooding your system, you can think more clearly and see options you couldn't see before.

Your creativity comes back online. A calm nervous system is a creative nervous system. Solutions and possibilities become visible again.

You can see opportunities instead of just threats. Your brain stops scanning only for danger and becomes open to delight, connection, and unexpected good things.

And here's a bonus: when you're in a more peaceful, grounded headspace, other people respond differently to you too. If you arrive at work calm instead of frazzled, your boss or client might be more gracious about your lateness. Your energy shifts the energy around you.

Your Invitation: Practice This Today

So here's my invitation: Where are you in resistance right now? Where are you fighting what is?

Try these five steps. See what shifts. And remember, you don't have to do this perfectly. You're just practicing coming back to yourself, coming back to safety, and making your own body feel like home, one moment at a time.

This is how we create more peace, more possibility, and more ease in our daily lives—not by changing every external circumstance, but by changing our relationship to what's already here.

I'd love to hear from you: What's one situation you want to practice releasing resistance in? Share in the comments below, and let's support each other in this practice.